Investment Opportunity: Cat Shakespeare Co.
Ladies
and gentleman, do I have the investment opportunity of a lifetime for
you! Have you ever noticed that your high school English literature
classes included nothing but dry, stale old books by men and women of
different races, cultures, and sexualities . . . while simultaneously
excluding all of the fresh and cutting-edge work written by cats? This
travesty must end now. We must begin by teaching our children to read
the classic works of distinguished cat authors around the globe.
'Cat fiction' is a booming and exciting new field of writing in which cats finally get to have their say (don't let this potential goldmine investment opportunity pass you by!).
For just one easy payment of $1,000, you can buy a share of Cat
Shakespeare Co. (act now and get a free cat*)! Our visionary cat
writers create both epic conflicts (action-packed litter box turf wars),
as well as steamy love stories (hot, cat-on-cat alleyway action).
Curious to see how many times the word meow can be used in a single
novel? We promise maximum meow factor. Enjoy using all of your senses
when reading? Our books are 100% scratched-up, allergy-inducing, and
hairball-filled, guaranteed. What are you waiting for? It's time to
cat ear those pages!
*Disclaimer:
Cat may lack basic immunizations. Crazy cat diseases and cat attacks
that are a result thereof are not the responsibility of Cat Shakespeare
Co.
**Stay sexy, Cats**
No comments:
Post a Comment